LOOKS LIKE, FEELS LIKE..BUT IT'S NOT!

You start dating someone and eventually you really start developing feelings for them. Everything's going great and as days turn into months, and maybe even months turning into years, you one day think....are we in a relationship? I mean you spend every minute with this person, they buy you things, take you places, you even stay at their house repeatedly....it seems like a relationship, right? I know some of you are thinking how the hell can you do all this and especially see someone for a year and not know if you're in a relationship or not? Well trust me I've seen it happen before, more than once!!! Let me put an end to this mystery question....If he or she has never ever stated, not even once, or even had the conversation that the two of you are in a relationship......then newsflash, YOU ARE NOT IN A RELATIONSHIP!! YOU ARE BEING PLAYED A FOOL!!!!

Just because you think or it feels like something, doesn't mean it is! And if you are a relationship type person, then this is a bad situation for you. You need to find out where you stand with a person and where things are headed before it goes too far. You definitely do not want to think that something is more than what it is, only to find out it's not. That is when anger, hurt, and pure rage will take over you! And if you're the one that is leading someone on, then you're playing with fire. Who do you think all that anger, hurt and rage is going to get taken out on...YOUR DUMB ASS!!!! You are more to blame than anyone, because you're giving the illusion of an relationship, knowing damn well that's not what you want.

If you are not ready for a relationship then you shouldn't do "relationship type" things. Stop letting the person be up under you 24/7. Don't let them stay at your house night, after night, after night...pretty soon they're going to think they live with you. And here's another thought....don't sleep with them!!!! Sex automatically confuses everything!!! Even if you find someone that doesn't want a relationship, and you think you're both on the same page, if these "relationship type" things are consistedly happening someone is going to get attached...trust me!! So if you're not ready, then don't even step to the plate. Leading someone on will definitely back fire on your ass!!!

For the rest of you that think you're in a relationship, don't think...know!!! Next time around find out in the beginning, it will save you a lot of time and energy. Don't waste your time on someone that does not want the same things as you. And please don't fall for that we don't need to define what we have bullshit!! Things need to be defined, period! Things that are left undefined, are nothing!! Just because it looks like it and feels like it, doesn't mean it is!!


Peace,
*Lady J*

Chocolate is a Delight

A BOGUS ENDING...

So you're in a relationship, dating, or "talking" to someone when eventually the day comes when you say...Mmm I don't want to be involved with this person anymore. Now this could be for numerous reasons: it's just not working out, you met someone else, or you just can't stand that person anymore...who cares! It doesn't really matter, sometimes things just don't work out and they need to come to an end. However, that's what I am most concerned about the "ending"or the break-up. Ending any type of romantically involved relationship can either be good, bad, or your worst nightmare!!! But it all depends on how you end it. Now, if it's a mutual decision then great, but in most cases it's never mutual. Someone will always be left hurt or with some type of feelings about the situation no matter what. The best advice I can give on how to have a proper ending is to be honest.

For whatever the reason is JUST BE HONEST ABOUT IT!!! It's a lot easier to get over something if you know the truth. You may think that letting a person down easy is the best way to handle things, right? WRONG!!!! It's wrong because somehow the word "easy" has been replaced by the phrase "by lying". So we think letting a person down easy means we have to lie to them. We do it all the time....."I have so much on my plate that I just need to be by myself for right now"...."I don't have time"...." You're a really great person but I need to just focus on me right now"....and my personal favorite..."I just need some space right now". BULLSHIT!!! These are all lies!!!! And the funny thing about liars is that they always get exposed. That person that you're breaking up with is going to find out that you lied to them, which is going to create an entirely different problem. The only thing worst than this is if the person ends it by never ending it at all!!! They just drop off the face of the earth and you never hear from them again!

Breaking up is hard enough sometimes! Don't add insult to injury by lying or not even ending it at all!!! If you met someone else or if you've just grown not to like the person anymore, say it!! Some of you may think this is being mean, but it's not... it's honest! I'm not saying you have to be rude or say things in a mean way, however sometimes being mean is the nicest thing you can do for a person. Using one of the lines mentioned above or something similar to end a relationship is only giving the other person hope that they still may have a future with you. And this future really doesn't exist, so in theory you're just leading them on. I know some of you will also say that, you have to end things this way because if you tell them the truth they will act crazy. Well, there's always an exception to everything, but nine times out of ten, if you do it by one of the ways mentioned above....that person is going to act even crazier!!! End a relationship the same way you would want someone to end it with you! Ending things poorly will only bring you more problems in the long run. A honest person will ALWAYS be respected at the end of the day. Ending things badly will only be the beginning of a bogus ending!!!!

Peace,
*Lady J*
Chocolate is a Delight

On a side note I would like to give a shout out and a special thank you to the best writer in Chicago that I know, Anthony Roberts for always supporting me and this blog!!!!! Please check out his work at blog.limewire.com

COMMUNICATION...

Communication...the act of giving or exchanging information, otherwise known as talking or having a conversation. And in 2009 there are numerous ways to communicate with someone...lets see, we have talking face to face, telephone, mail, fax, e-mail, text messages, on-line chatting, myspace, facebook, twitter, and who knows what else. So why, with so many ways to communicate, are people still not communicating?!?!?

This question puzzles me more than anyone will ever know. People, we are making things extremely too difficult these days! I know we live in a world today, where technology is at its peak and there's always something being created to do things for us to make life easier, but what...do we have to get something to communicate for us as well? There are still some things that we just have to do for ourselves and communicating is one of them!

Stop being scared, sugar coating things, lying to yourself...STOP MAKING EXCUSES!!! If you have something to say or something to express, just do it!!! Human beings are not mind readers!!! The only way I know what you're thinking or feeling is when you tell me, and that's exactly what I need you to do..TELL ME!! If you want something to change, feel a certain way, or if you're going through a situation...whether it's in a relationship, a friendship, at work, at school, or with your parents...you need to communicate that!!!! If you don't open your mouth and speak, no one is ever going to know what's going on. What the Bible say...Ask And Ye Shall Receive. Asking is a form of communicating! The Bible didn't say be quiet and receive. You don't communicate, you don't get!!!

I understand that not everyone is a good communicator, and communicating certain things can be hard sometimes; but communication is a necessity. Communication doesn't have to be mean, or cruel, or rude by any means, and with all the ways to communicate, pick one! And if it's uncomfortable...then good, you'll get used to it. Stepping outside your comfort zone is a good thing ; ). Trust me, a lot of things can be avoided if people just communicate! In the end you'll be glad you did it and it will greatly be appreciated!!!

Peace,
*Lady J*
Chocolate is a Delight
If you have a topic you'd like discuss email me at:
chocolatedelight_talk@yahoo.com

LIARS...

You know I just don't understand what the world is coming to!!! It just seems like everyone is turning into liars. Is anyone capable of telling the truth anymore? I personally have witnessed more people lying in these last past several weeks, than I ever have before. Now, I know everyone has told a lie or two at some point in their lives, myself included and no one is perfect. But most of us know that lying is wrong and we try not to do it. However, then you have those people that are HABITUAL LIARS!!!! Every word out their mouth is a damn lie!!! And if there's one thing on this planet that I hate with a passion, it is a LIAR!!!

Why lie????? I really don't see the need for it. The truth is going to a eventually come out at some point anyway. Oh you don't think so....Well I found out that someone that used to be in my life is a complete liar. I used to believe the things that this person said, for at the time I had no reason to doubt them. But man when the truth comes out, it comes out!!!! I fought out everything that this person lied about, even things from months ago...so trust me the truth will come and bite you in the ass and you can take that to the bank!!! Especially when you are lying about stupid shit!!!! Some people just be lying and no one even asked them a question!!! Just lying for no damn reason at all! Everything is just lie, lie......lie, lie.....lie, lie, lie.

People just tell the truth from the beginning. Sometimes the truth hurts, but lies hurt a hell of a lot more!!! I don't know about you, but I'd rather get hurt by the truth than by lies. And I'm not saying that telling the truth is always going to be easy, depending on what you are telling the truth about; but at the end of the day I can always respect the person that told the truth....trust me telling the truth will get you props!! I can't trust a liar nor have one in my life. I feel like if you have to lie about, then maybe you shouldn't be doing it!! Think about!!!

Speak truth

Eliminate lies,

There's always proof

That will bring out the lie

Peace

*Lady J*

Chocolate Delight

If you have a topic you'd like to discuss email me at

chocolatedelight_talk@yahoo.com

SELF ESTEEM...

Self esteem is the overall impression or opinion of oneself, and the respect or value for oneself. As we all know, most people either have high (good) or low (bad) self esteem. Some people think that the ideal of having high self esteem is so much more than it actually is, but it's not. We see people that either claim they have high self esteem but really don't or we just assume they do because of a certain look or material possessions that they may have, and we compare things about ourselves to others. Having good self esteem is simply being happy in the skin that you're in, no matter what!!!

Self esteem issuses are more common with women than men. Ladies, this is because society judges men based on how much money they make, what type of job they have, what kind of car they drive, if they can provide for their families...those types of things, which are mainly material things and his essence of being a man. However, society judges women more so on our looks. Unfortunately, that's how it is. So ladies, how do we get and/or maintain good self esteem, in this world that constantly puts pressure on how we look?

Be happy with you!!! That's means stop comparing yourself to others, and stop basing the ideal of beauty on European standards!!!! If you're not European...then you are not going to ever look European!!! Embrace yourself for who you are...even if you have flaws! Everyone has flaws, not just you!!! It's ok!!! Everyone is not going to be a size 2 nor look like those models in the magazines. Hell those models don't even look like how they look in the magazine! After all the airbrushing and technology that is applied to those pictures, they've created an image that never existed in the first place!!!! We all come in varies shapes and sizes, that's what make us unique as people. God made you in his perfect image, and that's all that matters!!! And if you meet someone that tries to make you feel insecure about something, then they have the problem, not you. Whether you're a size 2 or a size 20...whether you're short or tall, fat or skinny, light or dark, long hair...short hair....no hair, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL JUST THE WAY YOU ARE!!!!

And as women we need to uplift each other more, instead of tearing one another down! Once you can understand that and embrace and love yourself, everything will fall into place. You are beautiful, so be happy with the skin that you're in!!! There is someone that thinks your fine, so please love you because it's time for you to come out your hive!!!! It's your time to shine!!!!!


Peace
*Lady J*
Chocolate Delight
If you have a topic you'd like to discuss email me at
chocolatedelight_talk@yahoo.com

OBSESSED...

So the highly anticipated movie "Obsessed", starting Beyonce' Knowles and Idris Elba, opened today. This was actually a great movie, and Beyonce's best role yet. This movie really shows how sometimes you just can't be nice to people of the opposite sex. People can take little things the wrong way....especially some women.

Guys, sometimes the little things like giving a woman a compliment, may suggest that you're interested in her (at least in her mind). Now, I'm not saying that all woman are going to think this and that you can't show acts of kindness. A normal woman won't think that at all, but you may run across that occasional delusional, psychopathic woman that may take things completely out of portion.

Especially, if you're happily married or in a relationship. Now if you're single, then do what you want. But let's be honest, that crazy chick doesn't want you anyway...she wants that man that's already taken; the one that she can't have! She wants the man that is married to a beautiful woman, has a child/children, a wonderful home and is the VP of the company. She has that "all the good guys are taken" mentality, and now she's spotted you and she's got to have you! And you men can be soooo stupid when it come to this type of thing. You all really don't see when a women is trying to come on to you and think the some talk and friendly demeanour she has is just that...but it's not!

Fellas, if you fall into the category that I've mentioned above, then pay close attention! If a woman you just randomly met is now popping up at your job or places that you hang out at on a daily basis...If she starts referring to your wife as a "lucky girl" and saying how all of the good men are taken...then CAUTION! If she starts showing interest in your hobbies, the same music you like, or trying to find something you have in common this is a problem! If she already knows your interests before you tell her...she's trying to get you liquored up...keeps insisting that you have a drink...then BEWARE (and watch your drink)! Now, if she pulls the I just broke up with my boyfriend and I'm so heartbroken routine and she's crying...then RUN LIKE THE WIND!!! Your response to these situations is going to give her, her next move. If you immediately shut her down then it's over. However, if you continuously be nice to this girl and give her a shoulder to cry on; she will never ever leave you alone. And don't even think about sleeping with her!!!!!!! She will try to break up your relationship, kill your wife, and she will do any and everything until she gets you; and you will be in HELL!!!

Sometimes it does pay to be the asshole!!! You never know about people these days. Good men that are taken, you can not befriend every woman you meet. Trust me, sometimes go ahead and be the asshole, because you never know that one girl maybe OBSESSED!!!!!

***Go see "Obsessed" and if that doesn't convince you, go watch "Fatal Attraction" and "The Hand that Rocks the Cradle"***

Peace
*Lady J*
Chocolate Delight
If you have a topic you'd like to discuss, email me at
chocolatedelight_talk@yahoo.com

KEEPING YOUR WORD....

So let's get straight to it....Why the hell can't people keep their word?!?!? I mean you say you're going to do something, so why can't you just do it? Why isn't it that simple? I don't understand!! Now, I'm not perfect by any means and neither is anyone else. So I'm not talking about a few mistakes here and there, or when a person forgets to do something but at least can admit to their error.

No! I'm referring to those constantly get a sudden case of amnesia, break promises regularly, don't do anything that they say they're going to do, don't give a damn, excuse giving individuals. And it seems like this happen with everybody: boyfriends, friends, family members, co-workers, husbands, wives...EVERYONE!!! Can anyone keep their word!!!

What happened to the days when your word and reputation actually meant something? Your word/reputation is suppose to be an extension of who you are as person. So, to me, if you can't keep your word then you're unreliable, untruthful, untrustworthy, disloyal, and the list can go on and on; and that's the reputation that you're probably going to have. Some people may not look at it that deeply, but I do! Normally, when a person continuously does the same thing over and over and over again, it's not a mistake but a reflection of their character.

Now I totally understand that people have a lot on the plate and sometimes things come up. However, where is the courtesy call/text/email/facebook message/twitter message (there are too many ways to get in contact with someone if you really want to) saying something came up, lets reschedule... something! But do you get anything.....no you get absolutely nothing! It's as if they weren't suppose to do anything in the first place! So you know if you don't bring it up, they surely won't. And when you do bring it to that person's attention they tend to give you a lame excuse like your stupid, instead of just taking responsibility for they actions; or should I say their lack of actions.

It's not that hard people! It's not brain surgery! If you say you're going to do something, then do it! If something comes up, call! If you know from jump that you can't commit to it, then don't! Just be straight up! Your word should be bond, because at the end of the day if you don't have your word, what else do you have? Think about it!!!

Peace
*Lady J*
Chocolate Delight
If you have a topic that you'd like to discuss email me at chocolatedelight_talk@yahoo.com